May 2013
2 posts
8 tags
Eurotrip Part 2, The Dreamers
Nothing’s better than being in Paris and being in love. Especially if you are in love with not one but two people. And if one of those lovers is Thomas Jefferson. And if you are totally down with historical threesomes than man buddy is this post for you.
Adams was called back from the Netherlands to Paris to help negotiate the peace treaty with the British alongside Benny Franks and...
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EUROTRIP
John Adams went on the most epic Eurotrip ever and all he got was this stupid tshirt. and the vice presidency. After spearheading our drive to independence he became one of our foremost diplomats in Europe for 10 years. He bounced around between France, the Netherlands and England, negotiating treaties and commerce agreements and basically ensuring that we were gonna make it after all. Just like...
March 2013
1 post
13 tags
Before He Was President, Part 1:...
John Adams was a busy guy before he was president. I mean, Abigail got pregnant 8 times, so that’s like 200 hours of non-presidential business right there. ( you didn’t know John Adams was stud? now you do) Amazingly, he was able to fit in time for some other important pursuits, like, you know, leading the fight for independence.
So John is just kicking it in Braintree, being an...
August 2012
1 post
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John and Abigail Adams, 1764 Bonnie & Clyde
(John): All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend
(Abigail): Down to ride til the very end, it’s me and my boyfriend
Do you know an adorable, made for each other couple of soulmates who finished each others sentences and shared an intense passion for spittin rhymes?
Hint: they did not build an arena in Brooklyn.
John and Abigail Adams are the ultimate success story of...
July 2012
3 posts
10 tags
5 Ways Young John Adams Was A Lot Like You
And by “you” I mean a twenty something American. If you are not American, good for you for reading this blog, how’s wherever you are? If you are older than 29, good for you for staying hip and having a tumblr, how’s being old?
But if you are in fact a human being born in the mid 80s to early 90s in our great nation of E Pluribus Unum, than boy howdy will you be surprised...
8 tags
Happy Fourth of July!
Happy Birthday America! Thanks for the healthcare! Now, to celebrate go see Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.
It’s the best American film since…Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. I’m serious. It’s incredible. Mary Todd Lincoln and Harriet Tubman lead the Underground Railroad to deliver loads of SILVER to the union troops at Gettysburg. That’s history for you!
Also,...
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John Adams, A Boy Brainiac in Braintree
How’s that for alliteration? It’s also appropriately cute because young John had one of the most precious childhoods ever. Like Norman Rockwell painted his childhood and it was in the Saturday Evening Post and now you have an ironic Americana calendar with his youthful face on it.
I mean, his life was awesome if being raised by pilgrims is your thing. John Adams was the fourth...
June 2012
1 post
15 tags
John Adams, Cold Hard REMIX
The internet ate my initial post about John. Is it a sign? Should I stop now while the gettins good? No way, I say! I want a history channel show and the only way that is going to happen is if I get through at least like 4 presidents. So here it is, apologies if you’ve read this before the internet took it back into its cyber lair.
Let us start our journey into the lives of the most Paul...
March 2012
1 post
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John Adams, The Cold Hard Facts
January 2012
1 post
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Washington, Post-Prezidency
I have dreaded writing this post since I started this blog. I hate hate hate to admit that Washington was not cryogenically frozen so that one day he may return and save us all. (I may be getting my Disney and Jesus myths messed up..oh well) But alas, alack, my main man did kick it. But not before he did some stuff! that mattered! and as we all wish, he was bad-ass to the bitter end!
For...
November 2011
1 post
7 tags
All the Way with JFK! →
On a semi-serious note, if you get a chance you should read this article. I didn’t know anything about the political climate in Dallas pre-JFK kill time, but it’s startlingly similar to right now. Some food for thought before you put some thanksgiving food in your belly.
back and to the left. back and to the left.
October 2011
1 post
15 tags
Washington, The End of his Presidency or "Cool...
It seems like these days the whole world’s on fire. Things keep blowin’ the hell up,… And while all those rubberneckers and looky loos stand slackjawed starin, The real men have the nuts to walk away.
Andy Samberg, did you write this about George Washington? I feel like this song is definitely an allegory for the final months of GW’s presidency and his tremendous nuts....
August 2011
1 post
8 tags
A Slump in Summer
World Wide Web, I do indeed still exist. I have been absent this summer due to the writings of this brilliant little gnome lord:
Mr. George R.R. Martin (look at that cute little hat of his! he bettah werk.), the infuriatingly verbose wizard of words whose 5 books have kept me occupied for 2 months straight and kept me from continuing my quest to meet the presidents. I will fully and willfully...
July 2011
0 posts
George Washington, 5 Most Important Facts of his...
Oh my god the photoshopping I’ve been doing on this one is so good, you’ll forgive me for my too long absence from the web world. And yes I know number 5 may seem like a kind of cop-out, because it definitely is heavily concerned with the issues of number 3, but I can’t stress enough how important it was that little baby America not get involved in a war in it’s infancy....
June 2011
2 posts
9 tags
George Washington, 5 Most Important Facts of his...
It’s time for everybody’s favorite rebellion! Because anything that involves guns and booze is bound to be a good time. Or at least entertaining. And that’s why the number four most important thing about Washington’s Prez-idency is:
THE WHISKEY REBELLION
It all started with the excise law passed in 1790 that taxed the...
May 2011
5 posts
13 tags
George Washington, 5 Most Important Facts of his...
You know who hated each other more than Hamilton and Jefferson? The British and the French! And guess who had to play monkey in the middle to that longstanding codependent abusive relationship? (seriously, those two countries needed couples therapy) AMERICA. and by way of AMERICA I also mean, WASHINGTON.
So, the number 3 most important aspect of George’s Presidency is:
Keepin it...
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George Washington, 5 Most Important Facts of his...
We’ve established that an important aspect of George’s presidency was his ability to start things up. He Black Eye Pea-ed (let’s get it started, huh, let’s get it started in here) the crap out of the opening moves of the presidency.
Perhaps you remember a vague allusion made in the previous post regarding a rivalry among two of Washington’s cabinet members? Oh you...
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George Washington, 5 Most Important Facts of his...
Oh no, I did not forget about our dear boy George. I was merely giving you time to ruminate on his ability to tear shit up as leader of the Continental Army. But here’s a fun fact for you guys! He was the very first President! That totally explains why he’s on all of our money! THAT EXPLAINS ITTTTTTTTT! I feel like I just figured out the plot of National Treasure Part 3.
IMPORTANT...
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The Conspirator, or Why the Hell did Rob cast the...
As stated in a previous post regarding the sublime miniseries “The Kennedys,” I feel it is my civic duty to update you on any and all occurrences of the presidents in pop culture. So, naturally, I spent $13 to see the Robert Redford film, “The Conspirator.” I think it was worth about $8. Brief summary of the story: A young lawyer, Fredrick Aiken (played by James McAvoy)...
April 2011
10 posts
Animaniacs, The President Song →
WHY DID I NOT START WITH THIS? WHY DID I NOT EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS? how is this possibly appropriate for children? I’m going to learn this and sing it at every family function.
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George Washington, Hellboy
Did you know we had to earn our independence from Britain since they were kind of douche-bags and wouldn’t let the colonies have any say in Parliament? Well of course you did! You’ve seen Mel Gibson’s masterpiece “The Patriot” (ps RIP Heath,we hardly knew ye). Well, let me tell you about the ultimate freedom fighter. His name was George and he’s an alcoholic....
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George Washington, FAILS
Oh hey web-world! It has been brought to my attention (by a certain West Point cadet who shall remain nameless, Blaze) that perhaps I’m a tad too one sided in my discussion of George. Now, it is possible that I am too heavy-handed with my adoration for GW, but crap if he’s not awesome and totally worthy of my love. However, just to prove that I can acknowledge his faults, I have...
7 tags
George Washington, Ladiez
I’m about to blow your mind right now. George Washington wrote love poems to ladies and GOT TURNED DOWN!. I know, finally, something this guy was not good at, lady-wooing. Thank god, I was about to post possible theories as to why George was a robot.
But BAM! There it is, a serious fault on George’s part. His sexuality was/is a sizable back and forth between two fairly ridiculous...
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George Washington, Teen[Wolf] Years
I am getting so good at cutting and pasting George’s head onto things; this is freakin art right here. Someone needs to make this into a tshirt for Threadless.
Guys! George Washington was a teenager just like you and me! He went to high school, sometimes got pushed into lockers, awkwardly tried to date an older girl, and then at night he morphed into a werewolf!
Oh wait…none of...
6 tags
A Warning, Re: "The Kennedys" Miniseries
Hey, are you trying to lose sixteen hours of your life to a cringe-inducing bout of historical inaccuracy and seriously terrible mid-century Boston accents? Then you should really be watching “The Kennedys” on Reelz channel. (reelz? that’s really the name. It sounds like a disney channel show in the 90s)
As a presidential enthusiast I feel that it is my duty to alert you to all...
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George Washington, Boy[inthe]Hood
Ah to be young again. Unless your name is George Washington and then you couldn’t wait for childhood to be over. On a scale of one to Oliver Twist, he was somewhere in between Mary Lennox and Harry Potter pre-Hagrid.
Here’s why George’s childhood sucked:
1. His dad was a total tool. There’s not a bunch of information out there about him, but what there is...
March 2011
3 posts
2 tags
George Washington, The Facts of Life
If George were on the facts of life, he would definitely have been Jo. I would watch that. Anyway! Here are some easy to digest bullet points that are the very basics of our first president’s life. You really have no excuse to not read them. Bullet points are like the popcorn of text.
Born: Technically February 11, 1732, but a change in the way we do our calendars pushed it to February 22...
4 tags
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A Historical Journey of Presidential Proportions
Dear Ladies and Gents of the blogosphere/middle school kids who googled “presidents” for their homework assignment,
I am about to embark on an All-American quest that I want you to join me on. It’s not looking for the northwest passage (that thing’s useless anyway), not pursing our Manifest Destiny to the Pacific Ocean (been there, done that), and it’s...
